writing 101: how to write dialogue that sounds realistic

Writing dialogue that sounds realistic can be a challenge sometimes. If it’s too formal, then it sounds fake and unnatural, but if you use too much slang, then… it sounds fake. It’s a pain, really.

ANNOUNCEMENT

I haven’t written one of these posts in a while, so I’m going to start now by setting a little timeline of posts you can expect to help you with your writing! Hopefully, these will help you write a little better. Here’s the schedule:

• WEEK 1: How To Write Dialogue That Sounds Authentic
• WEEK 2: How To Improve Your Writing Speed
• WEEK 3: How To Overcome Writer’s Block 
• WEEK 4: How To Overcome Writer’s Block (pt 2)
• WEEK 5: How To Write Effective Character Descriptions
• WEEK 6: How To Self-Edit Your Writing Effectively
• WEEK 7: How To Write Engaging Opening Lines and Hooks
• WEEK 8: How To Develop and Maintain a Writing Voice
• WEEK 9: How To Create Believable and Compelling Story Arcs
• WEEK 10: How To Research for Your Writing Projects

Let’s get into it!

Right off the bat, you may be wondering why it’s important to write dialogue that sounds natural. It’s pretty simple, really. Would you want to read a book where the characters talk extremely formally? Probably not. Imagine a book where the characters don’t talk like you, or spend pages ranting about trivial details. You’d get bored super quickly, right? You don’t want your readers getting bored or skipping over blocks of text simply because they don’t want to read it. I recently read a book like that, and trust me, it’s not something you want to go through.

Now that you understand the why, you need to understand the how. How can you make a character talk realistically?

– Understand Your Characters –

Can you imagine writing a book where you don’t know your own characters? Don’t know their background, their personality, their motivations? All you know are their names and which side they’re on.

That sounds rough.

These things – while they may seem like small details that really don’t matter – play a huge part in your characters. For example, if you have a character who grew up in an unhealthy environment, that’ll be portrayed through the way they talk. They usually won’t be super cheerful (unless they’re using that as a coping mechanism). These consistencies in speech patterns are super important. A character using lots of slang on one page, and then talking extremely formally on the next page (especially if there’s no apparent reason) will be super confusing, right? 

The same thing applies to characters who are, let’s say, insecure. Or a character who’s very ambitious. Just by reading, you should be able to understand their tone, worldview, and a little bit about their personality. 

FOR EXAMPLE:

– Character A: Anxious and insecure, seeking validation from others.
Dialogue: “I guess this doesn’t matter much to you anyway, right? It’s not like I’m very smart or anything…”

– Character B: Ambitious and competitive, always trying to assert dominance.
Dialogue: “You can try your best, but you’ll never match up to my level of expertise.”

– reflecting character voice –

When writing, think about how each character talks based on their specific traits. If they’re from different regions, make them use slightly different slang. If they’re from the same area, make them use common terms that all of them both know and understand. Or, if they’re from an area where education isn’t as important, then that should be shown in their sentence structure.

Maybe a character has a word they made up, and they’re made fun of. Or a character loves reading, so they’re constantly using quotes from books they’ve read. To test out the distinctness of each character, read the dialogue without the names (or get someone else to read it for you, if you remember what each character said). Can you tell which character is which? They should all have unique voices.

– use realistic language –

Having a character talk super stiffly or formally will prevent them from being relatable or easy to connect with – that is, unless it suits a specific character or situation.

FOR EXAMPLE:

If you’re talking to someone much older or more respected than you, you’ll usually use terms such as ‘sir’ and ‘Ma’am’ If the character is writing some sort of letter, they should avoid using contractions or slang (wanna, gonna, etc.), though personal pronouns like ‘I’, ‘me’ or ‘we’ are alright.
Dialogue [character to ruler in a letter]: “Hello, sir. I hope this letter finds you well. I sent this letter to…”

T”his isn’t the best example, but it should give you an idea of when it’s appropriate. For example, the book good girl, dead girl by emily kazmierski had specific scenes where the characters spoke in a way that seemed strange, especially considering that they were all teenagers. They used little to no slang, and the texting was…not great. When you text someone, abbreviations are common and almost expected. I personally find it strange when I text someone with perfect grammar; it almost feels wrong. Be sure to reflect that in your writing!

– show, don’t tell (& the importance of body language) –

This is a really common idea in writing, but I feel like many people don’t use ‘show, don’t tell’ while writing dialogue specifically. It’s super important, especially if you use it to help your readers read in between the lines. For instance, instead of having someone say that they feel sad outright, their feelings can be revealed naturally through the conversations’ undertones. Well-placed pauses can show thoughtfulness, stammering and evasive questions can make a character seem more suspicious and nervous, and sighs can show a character’s exhaustion.

It can also help create multi-dimensional characters, since their personalities are revealed by their words, facial expressions, tone, and body language. If you describe (show) the character while describing the scene, they will feel much more relatable.

FOR EXAMPLE
Tell: he felt angry and betrayed.
Show: His cheeks were flushed, his fists clenched. If looks could kill, I would be dead. When he finally spoke, his tone was sharp and betrayed, “…”

This text shows that he, whoever he is, feels annoyed at the main character without outright saying it. This allows the reader to actually visualize the scene, and will help connect them with the story.

You can further this emotional connection with the character by including sensory details. Talk about how a character’s voice is quivering with fear, sending shivers down the reader’s spine, or is talking so sarcastically and bitterly that it just seems real. They may seem like such small details, but they play a huge part in helping your reader connect to the story. Just don’t overdo it!

– use dialogue tags and beats –

You may be wondering what on earth I’m talking about. Honestly, I’d never heard of these before writing this post, but it makes so much sense.

They’re basically there to help identify the speaker, or provide some extra information about what’s going on in the scene.

DIALOGUE TAGS

They’re words that help explain how a character said a specific thing, or connect speech to a character (short phrases that identify a speaker). Some common ones are “said”, “asked”, “yelled”, and “whispered”. These can be placed before, after, or even in the middle of dialogue. Just be super careful not to overuse it, since it can either draw in or kick out a reader!

FOR EXAMPLE:

“There’s no way!” Jaime exclaimed.
“It’s true…we’re going to Disney Land!” her little brother confirmed.
“Mom, Dad, are we actually going, or is Bob pulling my leg?” she yelled.
“He’s telling the truth.” her mom agreed.
“I’m sensing that you’re happy.” dad laughed.

Does the example read naturally, or does it kind of annoy you? In this case, the author (me) used far too many dialogue tags to describe the characters while they were talking. But going too far with the word “said” is super boring and provides no insight to how the character said it. It’s important to find the right balance!

BEATS:

These are used instead of dialogue tags to show the speakers’ tone, gestures, or body language. They can help add some depth and visual elements to break up the scene, and can show this before, after, and during the character is done talking.

• “I can’t believe it.” She clasped her hands over her mouth, eyes wide with shock.
• “Where are you going?” He turned to face her, brows furrowed in confusion.
• “Watch out!” He grabbed her arm, pulling her out of harm’s way just in time.

Both dialogue tags and beats are important to use while writing dialogue, but beats help add more variety and helps provide extra context. These can be overused to the point of being annoying, so it’s important to understand when and how to use each one (as well as practicing with them, to figure out when to use each one).

LET’S CHAT! DID YOU LEARN ANYTHING NEW? WHAT ARE YOUR TIPS TO WRITE GOOD DIALOGUE? WHAT’S YOUR CURRENT WIP? 😀